Jupiter Ascending – Descending is more like it…

jupiter

I guess they thought throwing the Wachowski name on this film would hype it up as if we were in for some real quality.  But I didn’t forget about Matrix 2 and 3 (while the original remains one of my favorite films of all time).  And then pushing this film back didn’t inspire much hope either.  Even still, I was curious about what they’d do with a film carrying a $175 million price tag.

Jupiter Jones (played by Mila Kunis) was always destined for greatness.  Of course it doesn’t start out that way, as she lives a life as a housecleaner doing backbreaking and tireless work. But that’s about to drastically change when she meets Caine (played by Channing Tatum), an otherworldly hunter who travels to earth to find her and lead her to her future.  Jupiter is the reincarnation of royalty who must claim an extraordinary inheritance that will shape the future of the universe.

What I Liked:
The visuals were nice. I thought some of the creature designs were imaginative and it was eye candy for any sci-fi fan.

What I Didn’t Like:
The acting.  Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum felt so out of place here.  I can usually handle Kunis in comedy and roles where I don’t have to take her seriously.  But here, her dramatic acting could use a lot of work.  I felt no sympathy for her woes and her delivery just didn’t feel natural at all.  I actually was expecting Channing to be the worst of the two, but he annoyed me a lot less. No, I still don’t buy him as a sci-fi guy.  22 Jump Street? I was there! Magic Mike? I was there! Magic Mike 2? I’ll be there! But Channing Tatum with elf ears? It’s only good to see out of curiosity to confirm that this is not the genre for him.  Their chemistry was off for me too so it was hard to buy them as a couple.

They weren’t the worst offenders though. Eddie Redmayne, what were you thinking? For anybody who found Christian Bale’s voice as the Dark Knight irritating, multiply that by 10 for Redmayne’s portrayal of Balem Abrasax, villain and Jupiter’s biggest obstacle to fulfilling her destiny.  And to think he might have an Oscar by next month… Not saying he’s not a good actor.  This is just the perfect example of what a bad role can do.

The storytelling didn’t make a lot of sense at times. The premise was not nearly as deep as it could have been.  The editing didn’t help matters.  It felt a bit odd in certain places.  There were pacing issues and strange cuts that ruined the flow, even to the point of eliciting laughs from the audience occasionally.

Overall:
If I am looking at my watch constantly during the last half hour of a $175 million movie, there is a serious problem. Nothing is more disappointing than wasted potential. There were a lot of missteps with this one unfortunately and the sooner the studios can put this one behind them, the better.

Rating: 1.5 / 5 Stars

*This review is a guest review for my friends over at The Grand Shuckett.

This article has 8 Comments

    1. It’s hard to be forgiving when that much money is on the line. Someone should have put the breaks on this train wreck long ago!

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